So apparently this is erotica? Or something?

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So I found this. NSFW (or small children), obviously. So far, it’s the single most disturbing and at the same time hilarious thing on that blog. I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and I can’t stop laughing. And I have So. Many. Questions.

Why do they have to do sports naked?

Why do only the men get to lose their junk?

Why on earth would you check out your own schlong in a box?

And when did “hot steamy group action” become a standard for male wrestling teams?

Is this our future? Who in their right mind thought this wouldn’t only be sexy, but also not ricidulous to the point of “Oh my god, do you actually have permission to vote?!?!?!”?

I’m done. I can’t. How this could be considered erotica in any shape or form is beyond me. I’d frankly be very reassured if this were written by a troll. Like, please be written by a troll ._.

 

In the words of a confused friend: How on earth do I keep finding these things? o_O

Planning = Winning

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The glorious feeling you get when you spot a plot detail that needs to be changed in order to prevent all your protagonists from dying a gruesome death before the first book is over. Yay, plotting! :D

Aaand now I have to deal with immunity problems. Yay, plotting T_T

 

At least I noticed before I reached the chapter in question. Going back and adding stuff is like cutting your trousers off at the knee and adding two inches of sliiightly different cloth because they were too short. You can get away with it, but it will be noticeable, and it will always feel kinda-sorta wrong. Also, whoever thinks that’s a legit way of altering trousers: Please hand them over to a professional. Or at least a friend who can sew (not to be confused with ‘a friend you can sue’. Which is literally what I typed here first. Why, brain?). You’ll be very grateful later.

 

 

-Ricarda

Tiny living #1

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While I think this is actually a neat way to live (if you can stand the bathroom in the kitchen, that is), I have one tiny and one major problem with this.

The tiny one: Aside from the bathroom in the kitchen, I have lived like this. Thousands of other people have and do. It’s hardly a sign of ingenuity, as is implied, and this video just smacks of a “look how awesome I am by taking up very little space in the most expensive manner possible!” attitude.

Which brings me to the major problem: This shit is expensive. As in, I’d say he easily spent 50, maybe 60k on this thing, maybe more, depending on the base cost of living space in that area of Barcelona. Buying the property, hiring the architect, the high-end furniture, this stuff adds up. This is hardly “modern modest”; it’s “I have lots of money and can afford to go great lengths to appear humble while losing none of the advantages of having lots of money”. It wouldn’t bug me so much if he’d just admit that, but he makes it seem like it’s THE ultimate way to live in a modern city. And the comments aren’t any better.Go on, try buying something similar, in a similar location, and having the same high-quality furniture and appliances he has. It won’t come cheap, I can guarantee you that, and those who would actually like to live in a smaller space (like me; 40-50m² is plenty of space for a single person, but all I see is 60m² and up) end up not being able to afford small places because most kinds of furniture you’d need to make them livable is freakishly expensive, and hiring an architect to make the most out of the space you have is an idea that sends regular people (and their bank accounts) into fits of laughter.

 

Point is, the idea that not everyone needs a gigantic apartment with seven rooms and a huge terrace to be happy is a good one. But as it is, small flats are nigh impossible to find, and those that are there are run-down caves or, like the one in the video afterwards, just as expensive as a place twice the size, so why bother. If we want to leave “bigger is better” behind, those who provide apartments for rent need to be the first to realise the potential, and act on it, in a manner that allows normal people to actually live this lifestyle, and not just the rich guys who want to seem like they do some good for society.

 

(Yeah, there’s a bitter undertone here, but I’ve had just about enough of the rich folks I see all around me always wanting more when there’s no possible way they still *need* it. There comes a point when you can’t spend the money anymore, and when people still decide “yeah, no, I’ll still lower my employees’ wages so I can have MOAR MONEY by the end of the year”, then I’m ready to kick your ass to Mars and back, asshole. Fine, my family isn’t in any financial trouble, either, but neither of us sees the point of breaking your back for money you don’t need, much less breaking other people’s backs. And as long as so very few people see that money doesn’t equal happiness, we as a society are headed South at full speed.)

 

-Ricarda

 

 

€dit: Now this one looks much more affordable. It says it’s some sort of weekend space or something like that, but it has a maximum amount of space used without the furniture being very expensive. In fact, most of it looks DIY. Put in a nice reading chair (that goes into the corner at night), a few shelves on the wall and a wall-fastened collapsible desk, and I’d go live there.

France, writing, and a lot of alcohol

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“There’s Nick, solemn and brooding; Cas, light-hearted and playful; Trev, smart and caring; and Sam . . . who’s stolen Anna’s heart.”

When ‘love interest’ is literally the only trait the male lead gets on the cover, I WILL judge this book by its cover. Because I really, really love it when I actually know who I will have to put up with when reading the story, and ‘love interest’ is not exactly something that seals the deal for me… ô.O

Also, someone stole my plot. Elements of it, anyway. Blech. This is why I should stay away from the YA and sci-fi sections on Amazon. Now I keep thinking “Nooo, you can’t use the cloning anymore, people DID it before, people will LAUGH at you for it!”. Awesome, brain. Sometimes, I think authors were better off before the internet. They just didn’t know when someone had written a book like theirs before (or they were less likely to find out, in any case). And then I remember the shit-ton of research I have to do, and how horribly equipped our library’s non-fiction department is, and feel the need to hug my computer. Also, no typewriter, woohoo!

Let’s just hope the next two weeks will help me make some progress. But since when has the ocean (plus wine) not been inspiring…? :D

(I’m still bummed I can’t read Bound right away, but that’s just giving me something to look forward to^^ … then again, it’s the day of Germany vs. USA, so I probably won’t be doing much reading on the 26th, anyway, but a lot of pastis-drinking and referee-cursing…)

 

-Ricarda

I’m done.

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The day I realised that there is more fanfiction for Call of Duty and The Sims than there is for Guild Wars and Prince of Persia (combined, mind you) is the day I’m so 100% done with fandom.

…fine, not 100%,l but it’s depressing that games without anything remotely resembling a story get more love that cool games with awesome lore. I mean, COME ON, the fucking Pokémon franchise is, as of right fucking now, the fucking #1 in the games section over at FF.net -.-

And I’m once again left with “write it yourself” as my only option. I don’t have time for this, I have to write that novel that kinda-sorta started as Star Wars fanf-

 

Uh.

Nevermind.

Dumbing down is harder than it sounds

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Just when you think you have a decent starting point for a rather brainless, easy-to-write romantic YA sci-fi novel…

“Oh, hey, look, this is a great opportunity for commentary on the pros and cons of genetics and the value of human life!”

While I’d looove to write something like that, I don’t think YA is the way to go about this kind of subject, and at this point, I’m looking at my chances to sell this thing. I have to eat, simple as that, and the brutal reality around here is that YA romance stuff has the highest chance of getting accepted.

Then again, a lot of YA books are bought by actual adults, so maybe there’s a chance, if there’s enough romantic fluff to make up for it (I hate writing it, but let’s face it, YA romances tend to be horrible anyway, so no worries there). Also, I can sneak in Star Wars in-jokes that probably only I understand. Wee pop culture references! :D

 

Why can’t anything ever be easy? T_T