I love being part of a fandom. Fandoms are great. You share something you love with a lot of people (most of whom are awesome), you get to enjoy what you like outside of the original show/book/game/obscure asian film, and you have something to obsess over and discuss in the middle of the night with your best friend who is just as crazy about the show as you are, possibly even crazier.

But then there are the days when I facepalm, headdesk, and do every other possible gesture that expresses an equal amount of embarrassment and “whhhyyy?!”. There are days when I am close to denying every connection I might have to the fandom in question, and pretend I don’t even know what XYZ is. Those are the days when I make the mistake of reading the comments to a fandom-related press release. (Yes, I should know better T_T)

Case in point: An article concerning John Hurt’s role in the next episode of Doctor Who (€dit because d’oh: Of course I mean the 50th anniversary special. Silly me.). Now, if you don’t want to hear, see, read or get signed by a deaf chimpanzee anything about the upcoming series finale, the special, or the series in general, stop reading. Now. I’m serious, go away now, or you will read things you might not want to know. You still here? Okay, I did warn you, don’t blame it on me if your fun gets spoiled.

:O

:(

:|

:)

:D

Okay, that’s the best I can do. From now on, this is a minefield of possible spoilers.

The article basically states that actor John Hurt (you know, that guy who played Ollivander in the Harry Potter films? Yep, that’s him.) will be in the 50th anniversary special, and he’s going to play the Ninth Doctor. Yes, that’s right. Rumour has it that Christopher Eccleston’s Doctor wasn’t Nine at all, but actually Ten. Which would make David Tennant Eleven, and Matt Smith Twelve. A fact that doesn’t sit well with a lot of fans. Outsiders wouldn’t believe the outrage in the fandom upon this news. Suddenly, the beloved, wonderful show isn’t wonderful at all, canon gets screwed and Steven Moffat is a jerk who has gone mad with power. There is so much hate directed towards him I’m wondering how he can stand going online anymore. People suddenly complain about everything he has ever done with Doctor Who, rant about how he has no right to do all this and that there is a canon to stick to, and even demand he give up his position as a showrunner. All because they don’t like this particular plot twist that might not even happen (after all, this could be a red red herring and not true at all).

Seriously, fandom? -.-

I understand how someone can feel let down by this, even gets a little angry. I mean, come on, I think George Lucas should have left well enough alone and never started “remastering” the original Star Wars trilogy (Han shot first! :P). But they are his films, and he has the right to do with them whatever he wants. Whoever created a piece of art has the right to change it as he pleases whenever the hell he feels like it. No-one can dictate the rules the artist has to stick to (well, unless the artist is paid to deliver a specific piece, but that’s beside the point here). That’s kind of the very definition of art – it comes from the heart and follows no rules.

And now this shouldn’t apply anymore because some condescending pricks don’t like what they get? Being a writer, there is no other answer for me to give than “What the fuck are you douchebags thinking?!” Just because you are fans you think you have the right to expect the creator to be at your beck and call and do exactly what you tell him to do? That’s not how it works, that’s not how it should ever work! Listen up, you may like what you get or not, but that doesn’t give you any right to pressure the creator into making what you think is a “better” and “more logical” decision. The latter one is especially true for Doctor Who. There IS. NO. LOGIC to this show. Whatever canon we think there is is vague at best and most of the time not canon at all. As far as I know, the Doctor never went and announced “I’m the eighth Doctor, don’t you forget!” He doesn’t count at all. I don’t think I ever heard anyone in the show address the “Which regeneration are you? Six or seven?” issue (haven’t seen all the classic episodes, though, so I might be wrong here). So any number we assign to a particular Doctor is purely to keep track of where we are in the Doctor’s life (and that might not even be true, since he could very well have an infinite number of regenerations; we don’t know). So bringing in John Hurt as the real Nine, making the current Doctor Twelve already (and confusing everyone with the whole “fall of the eleventh” thing, which doesn’t make sense anymore if that rumour is true…), is fine, doesn’t go against canon and doesn’t “screw up other writers’ work”, as some people put it. Doctor Who as a show is best summed up by the Doctor’s own words: a ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff. There is virtually no way to defy canon, because there is no canon (other than the Doctor is a renegade Time Lord traveling time and space… yep, I think that’s about it). Hell, the whole regeneration thing was added on a whim because William Hartnell left the show! Talk about double standards here; apparently, “screwing with what came before you” is fine when it’s done before you were even born…

This whole thing kind of scares me a little. I usually think it would be really cool to be somewhat famous, have a fandom and all that stuff. But on days like this, I’m not so sure. You are constantly being judged by those people, not just as a writer, director or whatever you are, but as a human being. By people who never even met you. That’s just lousy behaviour. I’m fine with being judged as a writer based on my writing. I’m not cool with people judging me based on the fact that they don’t like what I write. Sure, there will always be people who are not happy with what I can give them (provided that I ever get published), who will call the book they read crappy and move on. But that’s fine, and that’s the mature thing to do. Move on. Don’t cling to your formerly-favourite-I-hope-it-will-be-again show (or, y’know, whatever) like a child and whine about how bad it is nowadays, don’t insult the writer just because he didn’t write a bunch of episodes tailored to your taste, and don’t think you are in a position to actually demand changes in the show just because you are such a loyal fan. If you don’t like it anymore, stop watching. That’s what I did with a couple of shows, with a couple of book series, and even with a few bands I used to love. I didn’t whine and scream and tell them to do what I like because I’m such a huge fan.

Sometimes I wonder if creators like the Moff, J.K. Rowling, George Lucas or Stephen King ever look at their fans and are appalled by what they see: A crowd of manic, rabid hatemongers who worship their own version of the source material, denying even the original creator the right to make even the smallest of changes. I think they do. And that’s really sad, if you think about it.

I have a great idea for all those idiots out there: Go and make your own show/book/film, get a fandom and watch it turn against you once you do something different than before. Maybe getting a taste of your own medicine will get that notion of fandom omnipotence out of your thick heads…

Yes, this was very rant-y. And I do know I did get kind of abusive towards that part of the fandom. But there are days when I don’t feel polite. This is one of them.

Also, you can’t reason with those people. They only respond with more insults. Might as well get a head start on those.

-Ricarda (now getting dinner and a glass of wine to calm down a bit)

I think the shows name is self-explanatory… it’s called “Pointless” :D

Mhm, I think they have to come up with the last thing anyone would think of… but still, why the hell did only sixty-four people think of Swan Lake when asked about a Tchaikowsky opera or ballet?! T_T

Ah, well, I guess I just like stuff nobody else likes, thinking everyone should like it^^

Also, this was a pointless post! *enthusiastic applause* *smug grin of the host* Good night, ladies and gentlemen!

-Ricarda

I just learned they made Under the Dome into a TV show. First thought was “Sweet!”, second thought was “Who the HELL decided to cast that guy as Dale Barbara?!”. Anyways. Aside from that irrational choice, I’m pretty excited. I liked Under the Dome, and I’m a huge King fan in general. And CBS did produce some of my favourite shows (NCIS, Criminal Minds and How I Met Your Mother being THE best, imho^^). So I’m expecting quite a bit from that show, and will watch it as soon as I can find it.

(Then again, King says he really likes how it turned out, and since the King-based film I like most is Kubrick’s Shining, which King hates… well, we’ll see^^)

Also, I really need to catch up on some other shows I’ve been neglecting to watch the past few weeks. I’ve been avoiding any TV-related Tumblr like the plague ever since this teaser with Tony and Ziva… DO NOT TELL ME ANYTHING, OR ELSE I WILL HAVE TO KILL YOU AND HIDE YOUR BODY IN MY CLOSET!!! /fangirl mode

*achem* What? I never threatened anyone… *whistles*

Now, the reason why I can watch so much TV is simple. I ‘m gonna drop out of college as soon as this semester is over. It was a tough decision, but in the end, how much good would it do to follow through with this course of studies when I’d just be unhappy for most of the time and never work in that field, anyway? The reasons why I enrolled here were quite complicated, anyway, and now I reached a point where I have to decide between reason and happiness. My parents taught me to always go for happiness first, money and job security aside. I am a writer, that’s what I’m gonna do for the rest of my life, one way or another. Maybe I’ll never be able to make a living writing novels, but there are so many things to write, I can make do with writing for a magazine or creating content for websites or something.

It’s really odd for me to leave now that I finally made friends here. During my first three years at uni, I barely talked to anyone there, but since I liked what I learned (mostly), that didn’t matter. Now all the nice people here can’t make up for the fact that I hate what I’m learning here. I’m sorry to leave them behind, and thank god for Facebook and the possibility to stay in touch that way, but then again, I’ll see my friends from school a lot more now, and that’s nice, too.

That doesn’t mean I do this without a plan. I’ll look for work I can do from home, and apart from that be a full-time writer. I know how decadent this sounds, and I’m really grateful my parents let me do this. It gives me time to work out where I’m headed, and find a way to both be financially independent and a writer.

All that crap means that I have to move. Again. Back into my parents’ house, to boot. I’m dreading the day I have to get all those boxes from the fourth floor (no lift) to the parking lot, into a car, across the country, out of the car and into the basement. I’m a tiny person, I shouldn’t haul around furniture and boxes that weigh as much as I do! T_T

Also, I’ll be moving in July. During NaNo. Ack, whhhyyy? -.-

*sighs* It’s a good thing that I only have to take two exams this semester, or else I would have to find a way to avoid sleeping for a month or so…^^

-Ricarda

Also, I failed. More specifically, I failed Camp NaNo. It was kind of like my very first NaNo event, only… well, a lot more embarrassing. I set my goal at a measly 25k, and even that proved to be too much for me. I finished with a spectacularly crappy 5k. Well, damn. Let’s just hope July won’t be just as bad, I really have to finish this novel, and soon, or else I might end up home- as well as hopeless…

No! I will finish this novel, and it will be a success, make me rich and famous and pay for a sports car! …or at least for the rent and the electricity bill…

I just hope I’m right about this one…

Then again, I can always hope that weird zombie novel sells. It even has a romantic subplot and everything, and the love interest is not undead and/or a necrophiliac!^^

-Ricarda

More specifically, I am on the list of persons the lovely Beckony-who-wants-to-change-that-username ;) nominated for the Liebster Award, a tag award for bloggers. I was flattered, to say the least, and now I’m a bit embarrassed it took me so long to react (mainly because I had kind of a minor major life crisis and had to sort out the mess that is my life right now). It’s wonderful to get this kind of feedback, to know that there is someone out there who likes what I write and whom I can make happy from time to time. That’s one reason why I write :)

Now, for the whole award part of this post…

This is the award. In case you didn’t notice.

1. Why I started blogging.

Well, mainly because of what I said above: I like making people happy, and beside the whole I-have-a-place-to-vent-whenever-I-feel-like-it thing, that’s the main reason why I started this blog. It’s not the fiction blog I aimed for originally (mainly because I usually write in German and my fanfiction is all on FF.net, anyway), but I suppose that didn’t hurt much.

The thing about blogging is that there is no pressure involved, as long as you don’t do it professionally. I aim for quality over quantity, sure, but, unlike with my destined-to-be-published projects, I don’t have to write with “real” publication in mind, and that makes it a lot easier to just let it flow, so to speak, and write from the heart.

(Also, I met a few wonderful people through this blog, so,  in retrospect, I’d add this as a bonus reason^^)

2. Two unknown facts about me.

1) I wanted a tattoo since I was sixteen, but it took me six years to decide on the subject and finally get it.

2) The protagonists of my first “serious” novel were based on actually the members of one of my favourite bands with different names. Don’t judge me, we all went through this phase!^^

3. One embarrassing childhood story.

Definitely the hardest one, not because I didn’t have a childhood, but because I’m not exactly embarrassed by much… if you knew my family, you’d know why XD

Closest to embarrassing is probably when I broke my arm when I was a child. I was about seven years old and tiny for my age, which meant that I couldn’t see myself in the bathroom mirror yet. So my parents had those stepstools ready for me and my brother. One night I thought it was a good idea to use the stool to climb onto the toilet to get a better look at myself in the mirror. When I attempted to get down, my dad came only as far as “Don’t…”, then I was already jumping down onto the stool, which promptly slid from under my feet and sent me crashing to the floor. I literally broke my arm when I fell from the toilet. I bet the nurses in the ER still find this funny.

4. Now, for my own nominees…

(I don’t follow that many blogs, and since one of the people I’d nominate was the one who nominated me, the list is very short.)

1) Kate from disregard the prologue, because I can relate to a lot of what she writes about, she can be as serious as she is funny, and plus, there’s always Jack :D (Edit: Apparently, you also got a Liebster nomination already. Have this one, anyway^^)

2) Alison from Bibliomancy, formerly Writing at Midnight. Sort of. (I had her on my mental list before I realised she had been nominated before (yes, I’m behind on everything right now, even reading blogs I follow…), but I’d like to list her again just because. No idea how this is supposed to work though…) She has this awesome way of putting into a few words the things I’d need a whole novel to explain, and so much of what she posts about writing and/or life in general is something I can wholeheartedly agree with. So screw the rules, Alison, you’re still going on this list^^

5. And finally, a few questions for those two to answer:

1) (Since I know you both write): Describe your favourite writing space (no pictures, because we are true masters of words, right?^^). Doesn’t have to be your actual desk/favourite coffee shop/whatever, so be as creative as you wish.

2) Post a poem. It can be an old one, one you wrote solely for this post, a really silly one, a dirty limerick, a joke that rhymes… your choice.

3) If you could be any animal, real or fictional, which one would it be and why?

4) And last but not least, the people you’d like to nominate for the award.

Phew, this was a long one. Does this count towards my Camp NaNo wordcount? Because I really need to boost that one…

A few signs that you have played way too many video games lately…

1. When someone asks you how you spent your weekend and you automatically reply “I killed some dragon champions and then defeated Napoleon’s army” before you realise that’s probably not what they meant.

2. When the Decision Of The Day involves choosing dialogue options based on the choice between “have threesome with knight and pirate” and “have threesome, then invite the elven assassin to join”.

3. When you deliberately buy food that can be eaten with one hand or with no hands at all, if necessary.

4. When you choose buying a new headset over buying new shoes. (Finally, Teamspeak, woohoo!^^)

5. When you start dreaming about attacking That One Mean Professor with fireballs before feeding him to an ogre, and you catch yourself making plans on how best to ambush him.

6. When your biggest problem is choosing between two equally awesome games you still have to beat that will both eat away your whole weekend (and possibly Monday morning, too).

7. When finishing a particularly difficult dungeon is the pathetic climax of your whole week…

…I can’t be the only one, can I?

And now for something entirely different.

I can’t help but feel like I’m sort of ruining my chances to ever get published. First, I create a character of an age apparently despised by publishers (my heroine is twenty-five! *le gasp* How dare I make her even a day older than seventeen?!), then I create an equally unloved plot (*insert shocked expression here* my MCs make morally ambiguous choices!), and now I decided to scratch the romantic subplot (without which no novel can survive these days. Or so it seems…). So I’m not even sure what is left to show editors and agents. Y’know, apart from the plot and the characters and the fact that it’s something that would be pretty much filling a niche in the market that’s been more or less ignored until now (the young adults who are, actually, young adults, and not whiny teenagers falling in love with supernatural creatures of varying creepiness).

Seriously though, how do I explain the lack of basically everything that appears to make a book sellable? o_O

-Ricarda

WTFfanfiction.com – When “weird” is taken to the next level…

What’s worse: That there is a film about this, or that I watched it and thought it was hilarious…?

Yes, this post is random. No, I do not care. And yes, you should go watch that film, now^^

Also: That awkward moment when you see this actor and think “Hey, I’ve seen that guy before…”, just to wikipedia him and realise it was probably in some kind of porn? Yeah, happens to me more often than I’d like to admit.

-Ricarda

Ahhh, playing AoE for hours and hours and hours with my brother until we remembered there was still an enemy that needed slaughtering…^^

Maybe I should go play some now…

…what do you mean, I still have a Camp to win? Uhh, I’m, like, so close to finishing? “So close” as in “I think I did reach 5k this weekend, but I’m not sure since it’s all in longhand”. But I’m getting there, I swear!

[Okay, I didn't intend to write that next part, it just came pouring out and it feels good to have it, well, spoken aloud, kind of. You don't have to read this, it's really just me whining, but I'm gonna leave it here anyway because I need this, and writing stuff in a diary where nobody would ever see it never helped me, anyway. So, yeah, just ignore the following if you wish, I won't blame you if you don't wanna listen to me complain about my life.]

…who am I kidding, it’s going horrible, and I have no idea how to fix it T_T Had a crappy day today, haven’t had a good night’s sleep in about a week, my place is a mess and I randomly started crying multiple times the whole afternoon because I’m scared and hopeless and a failure and I think I’m panicking again ._.

I don’t even know what’s wrong with me, I just keep having those weird mood swings, and being totally behind with everything, being awfully tired and missing my family doesn’t really help. Maybe it’s just some post-graduation freak-out, after all, I should be looking for a job, instead I’m still studying, just a different subject at a different uni, and it seems like I suck at it, or else I wouldn’t fail exam after exam, but it is what I really wanted, and I’m kinda afraid that, if I’m no good at this, either, and it sure looks like I’m not, that I’ll never do anything remarkable or even useful in my life. But there is this horrible, horrible voice in the back of my head that tells me this isn’t just a passing thing, it’s the truth and I should stop trying, I’ll never gonna make it anyway.

Does that happen to everyone, or am I just a freak of nature with a brain that’s not been designed for this world and this kind of life?

Or maybe the universe just has a sick sense of humour, who knows -.-

…wow. That actually felt good. I think I’m gonna go write something now. Something funny, maybe, I guess I could use some funny now…

-Ricarda

Come one, Dream Self, next time, just jump him so I can get my ideas into a notepad -.-

-Ricarda

Edit because goddammit: Is it really that hard to create CD cases and covers that fit into an average CD shelf? I get the feeling that I have to reorganise my collection every single time I buy a new album. Case in point: The Mystery of Time. Thank you very much, Avantasia, I just had to move you, Edguy, Norther, Dream Theater and Ensiferum around for like ten minutes until I found a constellation that worked (yes, I obsessively lump certain bands together like a nutcase; so what, sue me). I won’t even start on other dumb-ass packagings (I’m looking at you, Wintersun *coughs* Time I *coughs*), which frequently make whole albums end up on an entirely different shelf because they’re freaking huge! Seriously, would it hurt that much to go and measure a shelf before you start working on the cover?

There is one reason why I am actually grateful that Fifty Shades of Grey was properly published. It was one huge step on the way of proving that fanfiction is literature just like the original works are. It might not be the best book that’s out there (it really isn’t), but that has nothing to do with it being a fanfiction, it’s about the author not being the brightest candle on the writer’s chandelier. But she may just have paved the way for more good fanfics eventually turning into completely original novels. I mean, it’s not like every fic is just a lame copy of the original. There are plenty of stories that would work just as well with the names changed, and the similarities would turn into casual nods towards pop culture. (At the risk of boasting, I suppose my Silent Hill story would be one of those. Anyways.)

So I guess it’s understandable I was a little bugged when I had to read this from one of my favourite bloggers (roughly translated), when he was answering a tweet from someone who claimed that there were much worse fanfics than 50 Shades: ”Maybe, but now it has to compete with other bestselling novels and not only with fanfics.” What irks me is the “not only fanfics” part. He made similar comments about 50 Shades before, and while I generally like his blog, I very much wanted to yell at him for that. He always makes it sound like fanfics were something less that literature, less that “real” writing. That’s rich, coming from a guy whose first novel is a Twilight spoof that can very well be seen as “fan”fiction, too. (He’s not the only one, but his comment inspired this post.)

I wrote about a similar problem before: The “real literature vs. genre literature” thing. It’s both literature. As is fanfiction. We put just as much effort in writing our stories as “real” authors do. In fact, I am also a “real” author. So does that mean my fanfic is somehow still worse than my original writing? Or does my writing fanfiction make my original writing worse by definition? Doesn’t sound logical, and it certainly isn’t true. Every author on this planet gets inspired by something that has come before them. That’s why we say “There’s nothing that hasn’t been done before”. So what’s so bad about fanfic authors who just openly admit that they get their ideas from someone else’s work?

We are not lesser writers because we write fanfiction. Our writing isn’t worse because it’s not completely original. So please stop picking on us and what we like  just because it’s not your cup of tea. It’s not a one-way ticket to writer’s hell to write fanfiction. It’s a legitimate hobby, and it’s legitimate writing. Stop looking down on us. We don’t look down on you, either.

-Ricarda