…you realise that, for a solid two months, you
a) listened to the same five songs, and only in the shower,
b) read nothing but fanfiction and
c) watched four (!) films in total.
I used to listen to music all the time, read about three books a week and tried to find new cool films every other day. Now? I write for about six to eight hours and then watch a few episodes of a show I already know, read a chapter or two of fanfiction in whatever fandom currently holds my interest – when I’m not playing Guild Wars 2 – and then I fall asleep while vowing to start reading an actual book and watch a film I’ve never seen before “tomorrow”.
Don’t get me wrong, I love fanfiction and TV shows, but as a huge film nut and avid reader, it’s just so very unsatisfying sometimes. Fanfiction is based on the notion that you already know the universe, the characters and places; reading a new book, I get to explore a place for the very first time. I can get to know the people, learn about their culture and find little secrets all over the place. And don’t get me started how angry at myself I am because I STILL get upset when someone dies in Supernatural. Irrational reactions aside, by now I KNOW who will come back and who stays dead, I shouldn’t get emotional anymore. Screaming at my TV when I saw them die for the first time should be enough.
The best part? I only realised this when I complained about my mum that I didn’t buy an actual, physical copy of a book for myself in almost six months, which prompted her to walk into a bookstore and bring home a list of books recommended by the clerk. And I basically went “holy shit, when did I stop reading?!”.
And I need this. I need to stop thinking about my stories every now and then. But both TV shows and their short episodes and fanfiction with short chapters don’t give me that chance (unless I marathon Doctor Who, which is great on its own, but not exactly healthy). So, my New Year’s resolution is to buy and/or read a book every month that I didn’t read before, and watch at least one film every week (and not the way I watch them while surfing the web, no sir!). Because every writer needs to completely forget about their own stuff every once in a while, lest they go crazy.
Also, I find gory horror flicks to be really relaxing. And that’s good, too, I guess. And not at all a sign that I may have a problem…