Monthly Archives: February 2014

So this happens when I get stuck and really bored…

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That romantic proposal I mentioned? Yeah, that’s done, and now I have to figure out how they break it to his family; hers is thankfully out of the picture… until her creep dad comes along to ruin things, of course. So when I hit a wall (again), my brain somehow played dead for a few minutes, and this happened…

 

Suddenly, Steinar turned into a pony. With laser eyes. And a very funky tail, because he’s Steinar. Everyone went „Ohhh, look at his tail!“ except Tyra who used the opportunity to snog her newly-acquired fiancé. They fled the scene to get married right away. This made everyone mad because no wedding feast! Petri then declared „Wedding feast for everyone! Bring out the booze!“ And Tyra multiplied it because MAGIC! Suddenly, HER FATHER appeared from the sky wearing a cape and also laser eyes.
„You betrayed me!“ he shouted. „After all the things I never did to raise you as my loyal and obedient war machine!“
He fought a great battle with Steinar and his laser eyes, but then Steinar lost and fell to the ground.
„Ow!“ he yelled in agony. „My tail!“
So Tyra revealed that she also had laser eyes. Everyone had laser eyes! Tyra challenged her father to a duel and they fought in the sky because suddenly they grew wings, and Tyra won because her dad is just a giant douche who also happened to make a few conveniently powerful children, none of which he brought to this fight because PLOT REASONS!
„This is for my new people here! And Steinar’s tail!“
So Tyra shot her dad with her laser eyes who fell down dead and everyone was happy. Petri then raised his beer and screamed „Victory AND wedding feast for everyone!“
Everyone was drunk for days and then lived happily ever after except for those who died of diseases and stuff because this is still pseudo-medieval fantasy, bitches!

 

Just… putting this out there. So you can admire my flawless plot and beautiful writing <3

And also because laser eyes.

I’m going to lie on the floor for a bit. Maybe I can get my brain working again.

 

-Ricarda

 

(Yes, I wrote this in English because reasons. Okay, actually because I somehow can only write like that in English. My mind’s weird like that. Also, WTFFanfiction may have spoiled me in that regard. Bad fanfic is never as good in German :< )

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Romantic crap that’s not romantic. At all.

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Okay, I give up. Is there some secret I don’t know about? Some sort of… life-changing, meaningful insight I don’t have? Magical fairy dust?

How do people write romance?

I don’t get it. I’m working on a marriage proposal. Except I seem to have no idea what I’m doing.  Might be lack of personal experience, I don’t know. It just doesn’t seem… right.

I write a sappy scene. I write a comical scene. I write a sombre scene. I write it public, I write it private, I write it all over the freaking place, and it always, ALWAYS seems weird. Sometimes because it just is weird, but mostly because I think “No, that’s not the way he’d go about it, and that’s not a proposal she’d accept!”. But when I do write it the way I think it’d happen, I read it again and then go “But this isn’t romantic! No-one would want it to happen like that! That’s not how it goes down in a properly written romantic subplot!”.

Jesus Fried Chicken, I know why I hate romantic subplots, even the tiny ones. At least when I’m the one writing them. I’m not a romantic person, and I happen to have written two rather un-traditionally romantically involved characters. So it’s either sticking with the “logical” proposal (for them), or the “romantic” one (for the readers), which would be SO out of character it would look like it’s from a different novel -.-

How does anybody write a good romantic subplot without smashing half a dozen keyboards on their forehead?

Writing is hard T_T

 

-Ricarda